The Perpetual BetaMatteo Balzani’s weblog

“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl”.
The priest asks, “Is that you, Dicky?”
“Yes, Father, it is.”
“And who was the girl you were with?”
“I can’t tell you, Father, I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”
“Well, Dicky, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Mary Walsh?”
“I cannot say.”
“Was it Teresa Brown?”
“I’ll never tell.”
“Was it Margaret Doyle?”
“I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.”
“Was it Anne O’ Neil?”
“My lips are sealed.”
“Was it Catherine 0′ Tool, then?”
“Please, Father, I cannot tell you.”
The priest sighs in frustration. “You’re very tight lipped Dicky, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.”
Dicky walks back to his pew, and his friend Tommy slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?”
“4 Months holiday and five good leads!”

“Hello, am I speaking with the ‘Optimistic Kids’ orphanage?”
“Is that you dad?

The Economist as usual made a perfect analysis of Italian elections results.
Sad but true…

OK, OK, it’s way too geeky, but that’s genius!
Game anyone?

This post is all I always wanted to write about Apple but never dared :)

Today I realized I used to play the wrong sport for so many years.
Do you know who the richest “athlete” in New Zealand? He’s not a footballer nor a rugby or tennis player but…. Tiger Woods’ caddy!

If you’re not familiar with golf jargon, the caddy is the guy who carries the bag with the clubs…
So, sun, green fields and a lot of money.

And I spent 15 years  trying to put an orange ball in a basket…

Usually I pretend to be pissed off when my colleagues joke about the stereotypes of being Italian. When they speak in Italian like Don Vito Corleone or when my friend Ciaran orders a chicken lasagna at the restaurant.
But today I really hope we can talk about pizza, mandolin, mafia and “spaghetti bolognaise”.

The reason is that it’s really hard to explain how it’s possibile that Berlusconi won the elections again, and with a huge majority.
It’s simply impossible to believe and thus impossible to explain!
They tease on me and laugh, and actually I have to say I’d do the same if I wasn’t Italian.

Living abroad is great, and you’d think it’s easier to face this elections here instead of in Italy, but at the end of the day it’s almost worse, because you make the comparison with the other countries (and we have 22 different nationalities here) and suddenly you want to jump out of the window or hide in the toilet…

So please guys, let’s pretend it never happened! I can do the Godfather if you want, or sing “O sole mio”, no problem.
Or better, from now on I’m Swiss, ok? Chocolate anyone?