Archives for “The Office”
It’s unbelievable how newspapers are late and not accurate in giving news; which, by the way, should be their job… Today I’ve found a news talking about an OCSE statistic according to which Italy was in 23rd position out of 30 for average net salaries. I’ve been to Repubblica.it, Corriere.it and LaStampa.it, but none of them, which [...]
1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood. 2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all. 3. I will be [...]
Dear Employees, It has been brought to management’s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.Due to complaints received and our efforts to improve communication, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.We do, however, realize the critical [...]
Yesterday I went, with other colleagues, to Luciano’s housewarming, in Utrecht. Weather was shitty, as usual. In the train I was, apparently, the only one without an iPhone, which is hard to stand :) We had some drinks in the house, and some nice chatting about different languages and different cultures. As usual there were at least a [...]
Well, it’s not exactly the game that I got to love. The fact is that outside our office now there’s a booth where every night you can go and see the games together with the colleagues. And you have free beer and food! Isn’t it amazing? I just found it out today but if I had known I’d [...]
A wealthy old Gentleman decides to go on a hunting safari in Africa, taking his faithful, elderly Jack Russell named Killer, along for the company. One day the old Jack Russell starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his [...]
“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl”. The priest asks, “Is that you, Dicky?” “Yes, Father, it is.” “And who was the girl you were with?” “I can’t tell you, Father, I don’t want to ruin her reputation.” “Well, Dicky, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may [...]
A fireman is polishing his fire engine outside the fire station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red cart with little ladders hung on the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The little girl is wearing a fireman’s helmet and has the cart tied to a dog [...]
Arthur is 90 years old. He’s played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. ‘That’s it,’ he tells his wife. ‘I’m giving up golf. My eyesight has gotten so bad that once I’ve hit the ball I couldn’t see where it went.’ His wife sympathizes and [...]
A real commercial from the 50s
Ambra: “Barry vammi a prendere un bicchier d’acqua, non vorrai mica farmi morire disintegrata!”
Ambra: “Ho bisogno di una governante per la mia borsa!”
Antefatto: il barista, detto Mimmo a causa di una somiglianza con un personaggio di Zelig, lascia sempre i messaggini d’amore ad Ambra sulla schiuma del cappuccino. Barry: “Che pretendi, te fai sempre la sgallettata, quello ce casca e ce prova…” Ambra: “Sei un pirla” Barry: “E’ come quando metti l’acqua sul fuoco…” Laura: “Eh infatti si spegne!” Barry: “veramente io [...]
Meeting di lavoro. Si parla di come trovare siti affiliati per promuovere i nostri clienti (vabbè, poi ve lo spiego), in particolare le compagnie aeree. Alessandro: “Per esempio se il nostro cliente ha la rotta Milano-Madrid, si contatteranno i publisher spagnoli, se ha Torino-Cracovia…” Ambra: “I publisher croati”
Andrea: “Ma con donne mai?” Ambra: “Ma no non mi piace la berny”
Ambra: “Oh cavolo mi sa che invece di aprirlo l’ho chiuso il termosifone” Laura: “E’ come il rubinetto, a destra apri e a sinistra chiudi” Matteo: “Ma no Laura, è il contrario, verso destra apri e verso sinistra chiudi nel rubinetto” Ambra: “Eh, tu mi hai detto come il rubinetto e io ho fatto come col rubinetto” Laura: “Ah [...]
Passando davanti ad una vetrina di abbigliamento per bambini, di ritorno dalla pausa pranzo: Io: “Ammazza, quel maglioncino per bambini 99 Euro!” Lele: “Eh sì, stavo guardando anch’io…” Io: “Pensaci bene prima di farne uno, sono un bel costo” Lele: “Beh ma c’è il mercato” Io: “Ah, lo vuoi vendere?”
Madda: “L’avete visto MTV ieri sera?” Io: “Ma, solo dei pezzetti…” Madda: “Presentava Snoopy…” Io: “Snoop Dogg”
Lele (milanista): “Pensa che Berlusconi è andato a fare i complimenti negli spogliatoi alla Roma” Andrea (romanista): “Berlusconi ci è andato perchè è paraculo” Lele: “Beh almeno lui para qualcosa, Dida nemmeno quello!”
Web marketing, food, books and whatever else catches my attention.